Forever a force
The first time I saw my wife I wasn’t struck by her beauty.
.
Or her humour.
Or her charm.
Or her lovely feet.
.
(That all came shortly after).
.
No.
My very first thought was:
Gosh.
She looks capable.
.
She’s on it.
She’s getting shit done.
.
To me,
there’s poetry in a ‘to do’ list.
Passion in productivity.
Romance in a bottle of wine over a shared spreadsheet.
.
And, no word of a lie, I thought:
We could make stuff happen, her and me.
.
I’m not the only one who sees her and thinks ‘possibility’.
People are drawn to her positive power.
I see it in the relationships.
I hear it in the words.
I read it in the messages.
.
You see, this woman I love is not flesh
or blood.
Body
or bone.
.
She is not organs
white blood cells
platelets
or carcinoma.
.
She is action.
Productivity.
Collaboration.
.
She is her goofy way.
Her high standards.
Her tattoos.
.
She is 80s Saltash.
90s Plymouth.
00s Cardiff.
.
She is ACT ‘05.
Lyric ‘08.
New Adventures ‘18.
.
She is in a muddy Glastonbury field.
9-months pregnant at Latitude.
Horse-riding through the outback.
.
She is Spring Awakening.
Swan Lake.
Cabaret.
.
She is teal.
And speed-reading.
And ocean.
.
She is Arthur’s heart.
Audrey’s head.
Orson’s soul.
.
She is everything I know about her.
And everything I don’t.
.
This woman I love.
.
She is an expander of ambition.
A grower of ideas.
An unleasher of potential.
.
A beacon for boldness and bravery.
.
She widens hearts.
.
She is a force.
.
A magnetic field that compels you towards
companionship
adventure
joy.
.
Her body may be failing her but it was only ever a container.
And some containers aren’t built to hold such powerful things.
.
Things that can’t live in single bodies.
But burst beyond.
Seeking out other hearts and minds.
Where they lodge.
And live forever.
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On Coping is my story of surviving on the sidelines of cancer. It begins in 2022 with On Coping #1, written the day after my 41st birthday. The day my wife Imogen, the mother of my three children, was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. It’s the story of what happened next. Read from the start.
“An expander of ambition”
What an utterly perfect expression of the Imogen we knew and loved. I already know I’ll revisit this piece again and again. Thank you for sharing with us all.
❤️