96 percent sober
On Coping #151
One Saturday night I am serving steak and chips for dinner and I decide to have a glass of red wine.
.
At this point I have been sober for 2 years 5 months and a few days
and baring a failed attempt at moderation on Christmas day
no alcohol has passed my lips.
.
It is not an understatement to say that stopping drinking has
if not saved my life
certainly changed it in a profound way.
.
After two and a half decades of habitual consumption I now sleep and wake and cope and feel and manage like never before.
.
It is akin to gaining a superpower.
.
Boring and predictable as it sounds
and mundane as it is
annoyingly
everything they said about sobriety is true.
.
Including
I should add
the negative effect on your social life.
.
But
and despite this
I crave the ability to moderate.
.
To do something I enjoy without having to be consumed by it.
.
To choose a glass of wine with dinner sometimes.
To choose a pint of ale with the old man.
To choose a dram of whiskey at bedtime if I feel like it.
.
To be in control.
.
And so
on this particular Saturday night
I decide.
I am going to have a single glass of red wine with my steak and chips.
.
I open the bottle ceremoniously.
.
This is not a good start
I think to myself.
